#1 SOCIAL MEDIA BOYSPLAINED

E-man: Snapchat is like a bowl of food. Then you smash it up and eat it.

#2 TRUTH FROM THE MOUTH OF DAUGHTERS

Me: You ruined my life!
Her: YOU ruined your life!!

#3 NO FILTER

Me: what are you doing out here?
Her: I’m sad.
Me: why are you sad, love?
Her: because I don’t like you.
Me: why don’t you like me?
Her: because I don’t like daddy.
Me: that makes two of us.

#4 PRAYERS THAT BRING PROUD PARENTING MOMENTS

My girl’s prayer a night after Iowa-Missouri SDA camp meeting:
‘Father, thank you for cradle roll, thank you for teacher, for saying ‘hi’ and for being shy..’

#5 PRAYERS THAT MAKE ANGELS LAUGH

My girl’s prayer: Father, thank you for not dropping the phone and for picking the phone up, and for movie and for giving the money.

#6 MOMENT OF TRUTH: KID WATCHED TOO MUCH TV

The bergens on the bus eat the trolls
Eat the trolls eat the trolls.
The bergens on the bus eat the trolls
Eat the trolls eat the trolls.

#7 PRESCHOOLERS KNOW BEST

Dad: who do you love more, mommy or daddy?
A: mommy
Dad: aaarrrghhh…who’s better looking mommy or daddy?
A: …Aerith!!!

#8 FOR THE LOVE OF A PIECE OF PEACE

Me: I just want five minutes of peace, Aerith!
A: when you’re done with pieces, you gonna talk to me?

#9 DINOSAURS… AND MORE

A: can I go in your butt? With my face?
Me: do you want to rephrase that?
A: can I go like Sarah?
Me: oooooh like in Land Before Time?

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